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I'm in the woods so often I know which plants are edible
I've found a wood that lowers my score. It's a pencil
It's easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10
Got a new set of clubs for my wife. Best trade I ever made
A wife and a steady job have ruined many a good golfer
Golf is the most fun you can have with your pants on
I gave up golf once. It was the worst weekend of my life
Work is for people who don't know how to play golf
The only
sure way to save strokes is with an eraser
How to improve: Take lessons, practice or start cheating
If there are two balls in the bunker, yours is in the footprint
The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental
Tip: No more than 300 thoughts in your mind when swinging
Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie
It's not a gimme if you're still away
To be a scratch golfer Keep good scores and scratch bad ones
Bowling: Unlike golf you start and finish with the same ball
Putt: The shortest shot that takes the longest time
I wish I could play my normal game ...just once
In golf unlike baseball, you have to play your foul balls
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